Are You Successful?
Being Conventionally Successful
Being Conventionally Successful
“The stereotypical definition of success would be someone who has a high-paying job or is in the upper-class.”
It has been imprinted on us that success equals financial stability, but where does this ideology come from? Living comfortably requires money, therefore, we believe that to improve our lifestyles and be deemed successful, we must acquire an income to support our necessary and excessive purchases. Thus, many parents drive their children to study hard and get high paying jobs.
With the obsession of being prosperous, society has adopted and labeled certain fields of occupation as successful, these fields/jobs include medicine, engineering, law, and CEOs. Although conventional success may seem like happiness at first, it is merely the accomplishments you achieve that make others feel proud of you. The poison that fuels this outlook is the comparisons we make of ourselves to others, and in today’s day and age, social media worsens it. We convince ourselves that if we had more discipline, we would achieve higher grades, or if we had more willpower to wake up earlier and exercise daily, we would be healthier — that is the trade off we have all been schooled into believing: hard work means success.
Earning big incomes, traveling the world, and having a high status does not equate to happiness. Jamie Anderson’s Ted Talk “What is Success, Really?” taught me the importance of pursuing what we truly love.
What is Success, Really?
Growing up in a family where it was tough to make ends meet, Jamie had great ambitions to become a professional cyclist. He was given the opportunity to pursue his dream while studying, and eventually became one of the best cyclists in his generation. However, his aspirations were short-lived. Being the only member of his family to be accepted into university he had no choice but to go. 20 years down the road Jamie became an accomplished individual in the eyes of others, he had traveled the world, published in top journals, maintained a high income, and had a family. Yet, despite all of his accomplishments and admiration of others, Jamie was desperately unhappy.
Some of us could only imagine what it is like to be as accomplished as Jamie and many of us aim to go places as he did. It may even seem unfathomable for someone as high achieving as him to be so miserable. Being a high achiever, Jamie was constantly working and vulturing for the next best thing, leading to him spending less timet with his family. After realising that he had enough, Jamie decided to change his life around. Through the money, the traveling, the ambitious jobs, and the success that everyone saw in him, Jamie’s heart was still set on one thing; cycling. Everything that he ever wanted to do was to become a cyclist. Quitting his job Jamie trained and participated in the World Masters Games, winning 3rd place. The fire and passion he had as a child never stopped burning. By pursuing what he truly loved, Jamie felt the most ecstatic he had ever felt, experiencing a sense of purposeful success.
After watching the Ted Talk, it was imprinted on me that pursuing something we love is what makes us feel successful as individuals. Despite this, as I dived deeper into my thoughts and questioned my true desires in life, I found myself falling back into the thought box of being conventionally successful. Many of us have given up our true dreams for “dreams” that promise financial gain. I have always been told that I must earn a successful income before I can peacefully enjoy my hobbies. It is similar to the idea of working hard before being able to spend your free time. We have been unintentionally conditioned to believe that working hard will always lead to good things, and that happiness is a reward to be earned.
A student’s perspective
What inspired me to write this article in the first place was the stress I incurred from my academic pursuits. Many people quote that academics do not fully dictate one’s entire life. While that may be true, it has been ingrained in me, and many of us, that we must study hard to get a well-paying job. We were taught that sacrifices must be made along the way to be disciplined.
My lifelong passion has always been to paint and become an artist. Expressing myself through art has always been important to me. Even so, as I grew up, many told me I wouldn’t be able to make a living from my art. Throughout my childhood, I thought of every possible occupation that would seemingly fit into the criteria of being conventionally successful, eventually settling on a degree I look forward to pursuing; Aerospace engineering. As a kid, I loved space exploration, and learning more and more about physics continued to pique my interest. In some ways, I am glad that I didn’t settle to be just an artist and allowed myself to explore what the world had to offer. Simultaneously I ponder what this pleased feeling is for. Am I simply enlightened that the field of study that interests me is one that impresses those around me? A subject that puts me in the light of conventional success?
A struggle that I am sure I do not face alone is my unhealthy relationship with academics. Constantly fastened on the creed of high grades equating to success, I always worked exceptionally hard to excel in my classes. Instead of looking at a bad grade in a positive light for self improvement, I saw it as proof that I was not good enough. Despite listening to those around me and understanding that low grades aren’t the end of the world I can’t help but reflect on them with a pessimistic outlook deep in my heart. Over time, I have improved the way I view unsatisfactory grades, evoking a more positive approach to help myself improve and reminding myself that academic results do not directly equate to success.
“High-achieving students suffer from anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and delinquent behaviour at a rate that is two to three times higher than the national average.”
The highly competitive nature of high achieving students can cause severe impacts on their mental health. Despite getting good grades and being at the top of their class, most of the time, these students may be the unhappiest. After performing highly, there is an expectation for the upcoming results to be up to par or even better. This pressure can destroy a person, but they continue regardless, in fear of being deemed “unsuccessful”.
Whilst writing this article, I found myself pondering about my personal meaning of success. There is no doubt that I experience successes in my everyday life, and though small, they should be celebrated and taken into account. The irony that lies in this article is that while discussing success, I myself cannot define what it means for me to be successful. If my success is tied to academics, at what point will I be satisfied? What if I get into my dream university and study my sought after subjects, will I have accomplished success then? If it is tied to my art, when will I feel accomplished? Is it fulfilling enough to have it as a hobby?
What does success mean to you?
[Written by: Nurrania Alfian. Edited by: Emily]