You're Cancelled?!
Understanding cancel culture and how to rise above it.
I believe many of us are familiar with the term cancel culture. Even if you aren’t, you’ve probably seen it play out across social media. But here’s the big question: Does cancel culture only exist online, without real-world consequences? Or has it quietly crept into our everyday lives — into our schools, communities and friend groups?
At first glance, the usual idea we have is that cancel culture only happens online — to celebrities, influencers or public figures who said or did something that the majority perceive as controversial. We often see it unfold in viral tweets, dramatic YouTube apologies or Instagram stories filled with outrage. But the truth is, cancel culture doesn’t just live behind the screens. It seeps into our daily lives — in classrooms, friend groups, workspaces or even family gatherings. Maybe it's not called ‘cancelling’ in these spaces, but the feeling of being excluded, pressured or judged for not fitting in? It’s eerily similar.
First, What Exactly is Cancel Culture?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, cancel culture is a way of behaving in a society or group, especially on social media, in which it is common to completely reject and stop supporting someone because they have said or done something that offends you.
Simply put, when someone says the ‘wrong’ thing or has the ‘wrong’ view, people don’t just stop supporting them quietly — they start calling them out and attacking them, in an attempt to silence opposing views. In other words, when someone says or does something that offends you, you start pushing them out and ignoring them — canceling them from your social circle.
While we usually associate cancel culture with celebrities and influencers, the reality is that it has a ripple effect. Its core mechanism — social rejection — isn’t new, and it isn’t limited to the internet. In fact, it’s very much alive in our everyday lives! It is as if there's an unspoken algorithm hardwired into our social spaces: no matter who you are, if you cross a certain line, you’re out!
Cancel Culture in Real Life: More Common Than You Think
Here are a few everyday scenarios that may help paint a clearer picture. You’d be surprised how often it quietly seeps into the spaces around us.
1. The Sudden Cold Shoulder
Ever been ignored by your community, friend group or class without knowing why? One day, everything seems normal, and the next, it’s as if an invisible wall has been built around you. No one talks to you. No one includes you. They just start distancing themselves from you, to the point where, when you walk past them, they act as if you’re a stranger — like you’ve never even met! And when you try to approach them, just to ask if something happened, all you get is, ‘You’re just being sensitive, okay?’ But deep down, you know you’re not. You didn’t break any rules. You didn’t hurt anyone. Yet somehow… you’ve been cancelled.
2. ‘You Don’t Have That? Lame.’
Sounds petty? Maybe, but it’s real. More and more people, especially students, are being excluded or teased simply for not following certain trends. Maybe it’s for not owning the viral Stanley cup,1 or not having a Labubu plushie. Or maybe you’re just not into the latest K-drama everyone’s raving about. Suddenly, you're ‘not cool enough’ or ‘weird.’ Sounds ridiculous? It’s happening everywhere.
In some cases, it gets worse. Take the recent incident in Indonesia, where a primary school student was bullied and isolated by classmates just because they didn’t own a Labubu plushie. The student ended up sitting alone and eventually stopped joining school activities. It got so serious that the school had to step in and ban the toy altogether.2
3. ‘Agree With Us or You Are Out’
Sometimes you're in a circle — maybe in school, your workplace or a project team — where you’re doing the right thing, but somehow, you’re seen as the problem?
Take this for example: in some companies, it’s become ‘normal’ for people to rush through tasks at the last minute, miss deadlines or skip checking the details — even in high-stakes environments like compliance, where accuracy is key.
Now imagine someone in that team trying to stick to the timeline, reminding others about deadlines and flagging mistakes before they become real problems. Instead of being appreciated, they get hit with, ‘Why so serious?’ Not because they did anything wrong — but simply because they didn’t follow the crowd.
Who Gets to Decide What’s ‘Wrong’?
Now, here's the real issue: Who draws the line? What exactly defines a ‘wrong action’? When someone is being called out, cancelled, or excluded — whether publicly or quietly — what's the criteria? Did they break the law? Did they harm someone? Or did they just… think differently?
Take, for example, J.K. Rowling. She was labeled transphobic and widely ‘cancelled’ for her comments regarding gender identity.3 Was it right? Was it wrong? That depends on your perspective. But the question is, did she deserve to be shunned entirely for stating her beliefs — even if it's controversial?
There’s a dangerous trend here. Cancel culture doesn’t always rely on facts. Sometimes it’s based on groupthink — what seems right to the loudest crowd. And if you’re not with them, you’re out.
So What Can We Do About It?
Cancel culture isn’t just some distant, irrelevant phenomenon — it’s all around us, and it affects all of us! In many ways, we live in it every day. The real question is: how do we respond to it?
There are two big temptations. One — is to live in fear of being cancelled. Fear of losing friendships, damaging your reputation or being left out. Two — instead of being afraid, we join the crowd. We jump on the cancel bandwagon and shut others down the moment they mess up. In a nutshell, it’s either be the prey or become the predator.
But deep down, we all know this isn’t healthy. There’s a quote I really love: ‘Be in the world, but not of the world.’ To me, that means staying rooted in your values — being present, but not letting the world define who you are. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to stand out. Yes, you might worry about being excluded. But let’s be honest — if your friends or community cancel you over one disagreement or mistake, maybe they were never worth holding on to in the first place.
Here are three reminders to carry with you:
Think critically. Just because something's popular doesn't make it right.
Stay respectful. You don’t need to cancel someone just because you disagree.
Protect your peace. Not everyone deserves your energy — especially those who try to manipulate or isolate you for being different.
Never let the fear of rejection turn you into someone you’re not. And remember — you're not wrong for being different, for speaking up or for standing firm in your values! So let’s flip the script. Instead of being cancelled by cancel culture, let’s cancel cancel culture — and choose conversations over condemnation.
Written by: Samantha Chieng
Edited by: Bryan Lue
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